


As Long As You Need Me

by RavenLilyRose



Series: Separate, Not Apart [5]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Gen, POV James T. Kirk, Platonic Bed Sharing, mentions of Tarsus IV, mentions of suicide (very minor reference to unnamed character)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:21:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25888747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenLilyRose/pseuds/RavenLilyRose
Summary: They had been fighting about... something before he left, but he couldn't even remember what it was. He probably cared about it at the time, cared a lot about it based on the intensity of their arguments, but right then it didn't matter, didn't even register. All that mattered was that Spock was right here.--Jim returns from a training mission mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. There's only one person that he'll accept comfort from.
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk & Spock
Series: Separate, Not Apart [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826005
Comments: 8
Kudos: 146





	As Long As You Need Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> Sorry that it's been a while since I posted anything, I've had a few things going on, and the beginning of this just didn't want to get written.
> 
> If you haven't read the other stories in this series, the basic premise is that Jim and Spock met when they were young and are, essentially, brothers.
> 
> The training mission that Jim is coming back from is, in my mind, the AOS version of the mission that resulted in the death of Captain Garrovick of the Farragut. I don't think that I've given any indication in the story that this is what it was, so you really don't need to know anything about it.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!

Jim stepped off the shuttle feeling helplessly lost. They had done the debriefings up on the 'Base before transporting the crew and cadets back planet-side, so he didn't have any debriefs or other meetings he needed to get to. They had been miserable, but he almost wished there were more, because at least then he would know what he should do.

He found himself scanning the landing bay and the surrounding area, not quite sure what he was looking for or if he was actually looking for anything.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Bones materialized out of the crowd. The older man looked worried, his usual grouchy face having been exchanged today for one of pure worry. He let Bones fold him into a hug, but even then didn't relax fully.

"Hey, kid. You okay?" Bones said into his hair.

"Yeah, fine," Jim muttered, "fine."

He scanned the buildings nearby over Bones' shoulder looking for... he wasn't sure what he was looking for yet. There were two primarily residential buildings on either side of the shuttle pad, one that housed primarily instructors and other officers, and the other family housing.

Even as Bones pulled back from him to look for injuries, Jim's eyes continued to scan the windows of the buildings.

"They actually got you patched up pretty nice, kid. Still, try not to do too much with that wrist for a while."

"'Course, Bones," Jim responded automatically, his voice flat and his attention far away.

Bones looked at him funny. "You sure you're okay, Jim? You aren't acting like yourself."

Jim mustered up the effort to rip his gaze from the building and direct his attention back to Bones. "Yeah, I'm fine." His smile wasn't quite convincing, but it's enough that Bones backs off.

"Alright," the doctor allowed, "just make sure to let me know if you aren't okay."

His attention having already returned to scanning the building, Jim gave Bones a distracted wave of absentminded agreement, before something caught his eye. It suddenly became crystal clear what he had been looking for. And now that he knew what it was, he wanted it even more.

On one of the upper floors of the building housing instructors and officers, he could see a figure at the window of what he was pretty sure was the central lounge area. The figure was tall, and from his silhouette, was wearing long robes.

Jim turned back to Bones, already feeling a little lighter. "Sorry, Bones, gotta dash. I'll see you later, alright?"

Bones nodded in bewildered agreement, and watched as Jim fought his way through the crowd.

Jim tried not to be too rude, tried not to push anyone too much, but all he really wanted to do was to run at full sprint toward the building and up the stairs to reach his goal.

He got to the front doors faster than should have been possible given the number of people he had to fight his way through, but it still wasn't fast enough. After passing through the lobby, he swiped his Starfleet ID at the door to the upper levels, and bolted up the stairs, not wanting to wait for the old style elevator despite his exhaustion.

When he finally got through the door to the floor he needed, he almost collapsed from a combination of exhaustion and relief at who he saw standing in front of him.

They had been fighting about... something before he left, but he couldn't even remember what it was. He probably cared about it at the time, cared a lot about it based on the intensity of their arguments, but right then it didn't matter, didn't even register. All that mattered was that Spock was right here.

He stepped forward, hesitant now that his brother was finally in front of him, and let out a sound that might have been Spock's name.

"James," Spock said, and he sounded so small and uncertain, "I..."

Suddenly, he took the last few steps toward Jim and pulled him into his arms. His right hand settled on the back of Jim's head and his left hand between Jim's shoulder blades. Both were holding him there tightly, as though Jim would escape if he released him even the slightest bit. 

Jim melted. For the past few days he had felt like he was in the middle of a hurricane, being tossed every which way by winds so strong you couldn't even begin to resist them. But there with Spock holding him tight, he felt grounded for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. He's safe, he's protected, he's loved, and his brother wasn't going to let him go.

Spock had only held him like this a few times, and none of those had been exactly pleasant situations. Those of particular note included when he had returned from Tarsus and when one of his kids had committed suicide a few years later. Still, despite the bad situations, Jim was so crazy grateful for the hugs. He didn't think he would have made it through this but for the reassurance of being grounded and anchored and loved and protected.

They stood there for what felt like hours, days, and years, but also like no time at all, before Spock started to shift.

"You must rest, James. You have had a trying week, and I doubt you have slept as much as you should have," he said, not moving his face from Jim's hair.

"Don't want to be alone." Even to himself, Jim sounded like a small and needy child, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Nor do I wish to leave you. You may sleep in my room, and I will not leave you," Spock answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Jim felt weak for feeling so relieved, but allowed himself to be led down the hall and into Spock's apartment. Once they had gotten through the door, Spock reached down to pull Jim's shoes off of his feet. Jim didn't put up any resistance, but simply allowed himself to lean on Spock and let the taller man support him.

With his shoes off, Spock moved Jim into the only bedroom in the apartment, removed his jacket, and tucked him into the double bed. Jim curled tightly into himself, but did not close his eyes. He watched as Spock moved around the room, folding Jim's jacket and setting it on a chair. It wasn't until Spock moved to leave the room that he objected.

"You said you would stay!" He was near tears, and far too tired to hold them back.

Spock quickly moved back to Jim's side and tried to push him back down into the pillow. He must have sat up in his alarm at Spock leaving him.

"I am merely retrieving some water, food, and your medication. I will not leave the apartment, and I will not be gone from the room for very long."

"Do you promise?"

"I would never lie to you, James."

"Good," Jim allowed himself to be pushed back down to the bed, but once again kept his eyes firmly locked on Spock. "Not very long," he warned, his anxiety only slightly appeased.

True to his word, Spock was only gone for about two minutes, coming back with a glass of water, a protein bar, and a small bottle of pills.

He set all three on the bedside table, and helped Jim to sit up some. He then handed Jim the glass of water and shook two pills out of the bottle and into Jim's hand.

Jim looked dubiously at the small, white pills in his hand. "Do I have-"

"Yes, James, you know you must." Spock cut him off, his tone gentle but unyielding, and Jim was too tired to fight it any more.

He quickly dumped the pills into his mouth and washed them down with the water, draining the glass before handing it back to Spock, who then put the protein bar in his hand.

The bar was his favorite kind, chocolate with craisins, but he still only ate half of it before folding the wrapper back up over it.

"I can't eat anymore, Spock. I promise I'll finish it when I wake up, but I just want to sleep now."

"As long as you eat when you wake up, that is acceptable."

Spock took the half-eaten bar from his hands, setting it next to the empty glass on the table. Jim laid back down, turning onto his side and curling up with one hand under his cheek and the other tucked between his knees. Spock arranged the blankets around Jim, tight but not too tight, just the way Jim liked them.

"Will you stay with me, Spock? Please," he whispered, letting himself be weak because he knew his brother would take care of him.

"Yes, James. As long as you need me, I will be here."

Spock slid his feet out of his slippers and slipped into the bed with Jim. He curled around the younger man, and Jim curled into him.

It didn't take long for Jim to drift into sleep, but Spock stayed awake longer, watching over his younger brother as best he could when Jim had already fought off the physical danger, and all that was left for Spock was to guard him from his own mind. Still, he eventually fell into sleep, wrapped around Jim just like when they were children.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there it is. I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> I'm open to any questions, comments, concerns, suggestions, ideas, etc. that you want to give. So, please let me know what you think!
> 
> Make good life choices, be kind people, I love you all!


End file.
